Things Left Unsaid
by Prince of Anything
Summary: In honor of my sunken and somewhat-sunken ships, please accept a sadstuck in the form of letters. These are what certain characters would probably say to their ex-moirail, ex-crush, ex-lover, or friend, if they had the chance. GamTav, DirkJake, pale!GamKar, one-sided DirkRoxy, probably others. Rating might change.
1. Dear Gamzee

Hey, Gamzee. Yeah... It's, uh...me.

I kind of have to wonder if you even remember me, when you're like that... But it can't hurt to try, right?

Right...

Uh, I guess, what I'm trying to say is... I miss you. Not creepy purple Sasquatch you, not to, you know, dis whatever look you're going for these days. It's not that bad, other that, well, the codpiece. That could probably just go away. But I mean, I miss the old you. The nice you that helped our friends with their problems and never stopped smiling. The you from before you, uh...completely flipped your shit.

Okay, I could have probably not said that. But it's true, you know. Those were the days, right? Remember our sick beats? I hope you do, because...I do. I remember sitting in your room, not even doing anything really, sometimes not even saying anything, but still somehow managing to entertain ourselves. I guess it doesn't matter how long I stay dead, I'll always remember. The important stuff, anyway. I remember how, after the accident... well, not even accident, really, but you still treated me the same way. I don't think I could forget that if I tried.

That's the Gamzee I miss. I think about you sometimes, that you, and I get...a little sad. It's either because I'm missing how you used to be, or because...part of me wonders whether or not that's even the real you. I hope it is, and that it wasn't the sopor that made that time we spent together possible. If it's not, then... Well, I guess I at least had something to think about while I was tuning out Captain Bitchbeard... Which is Vriska, by the way. I can't even escape her by dying, huh?

I guess you probably figured that out though... I dunno why I explained it. Maybe I'm just... Maybe I'm just stalling. I had something pretty important to tell you, uh... yeah... Maybe it's not that important, I just need for you to know. Does that make it important? I'm rambling...

Here goes...uh, everything, I guess...

When you asked me...you know... to make out... I wasn't all that prepared. To be honest, you scared me a little. It caught me off guard. I just...couldn't really process that it was really happening. I never really thought about...us...or anything like that. But I have. Well, a lot, now.

To be honest, I uh...I kind of forgot about it for awhile, especially what with all the dying that went on afterwards. But...you know, you can see a lot from where I am now. Pretty much whatever you want, I think. So, yeah... I know about the whole keeping my head thing. It was kinda creepy, I'm not gonna lie... But at the same time it was...endearing, almost. Wow...There's really no way to phrase that to make it sound any less weird.

But... I mean, you still kind of loved me, even though I was dead. Or at least, I hope you did. I kind of get the feeling that you did, because, well... I saw you. I saw how you looked at me. I heard you try to talk to me, but I couldn't really make it out... It, uh...kind of sounded like you were apologizing. It looked like you...you could have been crying, too. I couldn't tell.

Anyway... I guess, what I'm trying to say is... the feelings are mutual, I think? I don't know how else to say it... It's true, though. And I know that you probably don't hear this much, if you ever hear it at all...Actually, you probably never will, from anyone else, but, uh... I forgive you, Gamzee. I know it wasn't your fault. Even if it was, I...can't stop myself from liking you.

I know there's probably nothing I can do about it now. But if we meet, like this, somehow... Even though I'm now a pirate ghost and you're, uh...a purple monster with a codpiece... I want you to know that I'm still here. And maybe, then, we can...do something about it.

-Tavros


	2. Dear Jake

Hey, English.

I know I'm the last person you probably want to hear from, especially since I pretty much spammed your phone with messages while we were dating. I've already apologized for that, but this time I have something important to say. I want you to hear me out.

First of all, you can be honored to know that you were my first love. My only love, actually. You don't exactly meet too many guys when you're one of the last people on your planet. I'm not telling you this so that you'll feel sorry for me and take me back, because Striders don't need pity, and I gave up trying to get your affection long ago. My only hope is that it explains some of my past behavior.

I also would like to remind you that despite my AR's bullshittery, my plan was originally to take things at a snail's pace with you. I knew that if I was too straightforward, moved too quickly...you would leave. And leave you did. Or you would've, had I not decided to break up with you thinking it would hurt less if I did it. I was wrong, by the way. It still hurt. Then again, I guess I'm wrong pretty often for a genius.

I don't know what else to say, really. I had this long, elaborate speech planned out for you, but I somehow managed to forget it all. I guess I could say... I'm sorry? I'm sorry for loving you. I think that sums it all up. I'm sorry, Jake English, that I loved you more than I was apparently supposed to. I'm sorry that you were my everything, and 'm sorry that I felt the need to remind you of that fact more often than I probably should have. I guess I just got a little carried away.

The truth is that I let my insecurities get the best of me. I kept wondering if I was paying you enough attention, so I did what I thought would make you happy. I kept texting you, sometimes just to say that I loved you, so that you wouldn't forget. When you didn't reply right away, I just kind of assumed that either I'd done something wrong and maybe you didn't know how to reply to my stupidity, or my phone didn't send the message. So I sent you some more to apologize, for what I must have said or for my phone, whichever it was.

When I found out that you were ignoring me...I'm not going to lie. It hurt a lot. I'm not bitter, though. Because instead of manning up and talking to you about it, I went and bitched to AR about it. Maybe if I had actually confronted you, I'd still be able to call you mine. That is, if you decided to answer me for once in your goddamned life.

Wow. Okay, maybe I am bitter. It's not like I don't have a reason to be, though. You broke my heart, Jake, and I'm probably never going to love again. That sounded a lot more melodramatic than I intended, but it's true. My odds of falling for anyone after you are...for the sake of sparing you a shit ton of decimal places, I'll just say pretty fuckin' small.

I mean, look around us. Not a lot of other options, Jake. And I'm not exactly Mr. Perfect. Who else is ever going to tolerate my angsty bullshit? You obviously couldn't.

Honestly, that's probably why I fell for you in the first place. There was no one else, so I tricked myself into thinking that I loved you. If only I could trick myself back into thinking that I didn't.

I don't know what else I can say other than that I'm sorry, and that I may or may not be over you. Bye, Jake. For good, I guess.

-D. Strider


End file.
